In the News:
Yesterday, Obama spoke out concerning Health Control and stated that he was going to use the nuclear option. Asked if he would really nuke the homeland, he responded by saying, “No, I have no beef with Kenya.” He is still reported as muttering under his breath, “I won the election…I won the election.”
Meanwhile, Senate and House democbrats have stated that they will use reconciliation. This means they will reconcile with themselves and proceed to go against the will of the people.
Pelosi stated that,” everyone in America should just shut up. Once this health care passes they will just be chattel of the state anyway. I can’t wait to round up and imprison all those that refuse to buy health care under our bill”.
In a related story, Pelosi’s private doctor has diagnosed Pelosi as having mad cows disease. He confirmed that this would explain the thing with the eyes.
Other congressman and senators said 2700 pages of corruption is not enough, and wondered if they could get in on any more bribes this time around.
Meanwhile, in order to better sell his health care plan, Obama has created a task force to make his health care more appealing to the masses.