In the News:
President Obama has declared that due to the impending threat of a national emergency, all land now belongs to the state.
By Executive order all private ownership has been banned.
All farmers will be forced to move into the big cities and all people with higher education will be moved to collective farms to be re-educated. This will be called community organizing.
Unfortunately, many people are expected to lose families and friends. However, this is for the good of the people.
Obama said, “We can trust Congress to collect all wealth and to redistribute it.”
To allay any fears, Obama has appointed a Redistribution Czar. Redistribution will occur at various points around the country. These redistribution sites will be referred to as soup kitchens.
We are building a new society of Hope and Change where everyone will have a state appointed job. Unemployment will cease to exist, and every citizen will have health care.
Obama referring to Speaker Pelosi as Citizen Pelosi has said that he expects her full support, especially now that all future elections have been suspended.
When asked about the status of the impending national emergency Obama stated, “It was close, if elections had been held; Tea Party Patriots would have cleaned both Houses.”
In other news: Secular Humanism has now been declared the state religion.
Obama stated that his administration is not against school prayer as long as all prayer is offered to him.
New laws are now being enacted that will further the trend to make all citizens enemies of the people and subject to arrest at the whim of the state.
In order to maintain the peace, and to not disrupt the activities of loyal citizens (comrades), future arrest will take place between 3 AM and dawn.
Also, under new guidelines all children now belong to the state.
All Christian symbols are presently being removed from the Capitol and replaced with the slogan, “Workers Unite.”
Obama speaking enthusiastically in front of a red and yellow background declared, “What we have done with GM, we shall do to the nation.”
“A system of Czars and oligarchs shall control all State wealth and all wealth belongs to the State.”
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