IN THE NEWS
The UN General Council convened early this morning and announced that America has just been declared a third world nation and is eligible for financial aid. The White House responded by stating that it was always Obama’s childhood dream having been born in Kenya to rule over a banana republic.
In other news, Obama having successfully destroyed the coal industry and stopping nearly all oil production was last seen bowing again before the leaders of Saudi Arabia and begging for more oil.
The transition from the dollar to the Euro is expected to begin next month.
Obama, having campaigned in all 57 states was enraged the other night when no one in the White House could find a bottle of Heinz 50 steak sauce for his dinner.
Toyota has suffered a minor setback due to the fact that their cars self -accelerate, the brakes fail and the power steering goes out, other than that, they are fine cars. President Obama has stated that Toyota is too big to fail and has asked democrats in congress to borrow more money from China to buy Toyota for him.
Expecting a major victory in November for the Republicans, Obama has suspended both Houses of Congress and has declared all laws will now be written and passed via a parliament of 300 Czars to be appointed by the president.
He has declared that from henceforth the First Lady shall be referred to as the Czarina.
It has recently been discovered that Marxist extremists were able to plant microchips in small children born in Kenya and to completely control their minds. These children were later smuggled to Hawaii and given Hawaiian birth certificates. `
Do to soaring unemployment, the president has just signed executive order 666 whereby government work programs will employ 20 percent of the population repairing roads and planting potatoes. In order to maintain law and order, all persons will be required to receive a microchip in their hand or forehead with the president’s image. All citizens refusing to bow down and worship our president will be executed on the spot without trial.
Meanwhile in an effort to repay our debt to China all national parks are expected to become Chinese property. Obama stated that even though this will only satisfy a fraction of the debt, he is hopeful that the Chinese will be willing to negotiate for Fort Knox, Alaska and California with a possible few other states to be thrown into the deal.
The Terminator speaking from his private jet commented, “Hey, I only terminated California, the Obamanator terminated the entire country; he’s a newer model terminator.”
This will be our last news transmission, due to the fact that Iran has the bomb and we are shutting down our station and moving to the mountain. Should you survive the blast, you can find us at Liberty Cave Radio via ham radio.
Now signing off, it was a good country while it lasted.
………..Is it time for a Tea Party?
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